Who in their right mind would have ever thought that taking a 9 year old Golden Retriever to the Vet would be like taking a 2 year old to the pediatrician?  My sweet dog Cooper normally hops out of the back of my SUV and makes a bee line for the Vet’s office. Not today, today she had to be dragged out of the back of the car, she was having no part of this at all. Once we got in the door I was sure she wud settle right down, we have been going to this Vet since she was a puppy. Nope it wasn’t to be, Cooper started to jump up on me and whine and cry as if she was telling me she wanted to leave NOW!!!
     We were there because I suspected she had a UTI, and I was correct. They did a urine catch, something I can’t do at home because we have Invisible Fence. Cooper goes out on her own, does her business and comes in. I tried to follow her around with a pan this morning, she wud squat, I wud slip it under her and she wud pop right back up. As if to say “we don’t do this Mom, I pee alone, go away now. After the 4th attempt I gave up and let her pee in peace.
     After the urine catch they brought Cooper back to me and she continued to whine and hyperventilate and carry on. No amount of calm words were working. Finally I invoked the Mom tone. “Sit down now!!”, it startled her so that she parked her fuzzy but and began to drool on my leg, but at least she was still.  For a moment until a couple came out of an exam room, each of them carrying a cat carrier. Cooper began to bark and whine at the cats, the cats began to hiss at her. Their owners were noticeably shaken and rightly so. Finally it was time to drag Cooper to the scale, again she resisted, it took me and a Vet Tech to get her there. Her panting, whining and hyperventilating the entire way. What was up with my normally quiet, calm and docile Golden today?
     The next step was the exam room, with another round of pulling and tugging to get Cooper there, and then 2 Vet Techs to hoist her up on the table. Normally she steps up on her own, lays down, they give her a cookie and use the hydraulics to send it up. The Vet handed her a cookie and she dropped it on the table, no bribery was working today.  After a basic body exam, out came the needle for blood, poor Cooper looked at me as if to say “see I told you it would just be a petting session”. It took 2 tries to get some blood, finally once that was done, and the tech started to lower the table Cooper decided to jump to the ground and shoot to the waiting room. Ugh this was not going to be an easy wait.
     Luckily my 18 year old came in just then. Cooper settled a bit of him, but really she was truly anxious in a way I had never seen her. Finally after the blood and urine tests came back and confirmed what I already knew. The Tech sold me antibiotics, more flea and tick meds cause I was out. And most importantly some anti anxiety meds for poor Cooper. She is gonna be clipped and groomed next month, and I think without them, neither her nor the groomer would survive the experience.

     Fashion rules specifically, and I am sure most of you know what I am talking about. No white before Memorial Day, Or after Labor Day. No horizontal stripes if you wear a size larger than a 4 Who the heck wears a Size 4 as an adult?  But that is for a whole different blog post.  Black is super slimming, white makes you look like a whale, no bright colors-they just draw attention to you. No loud prints, just tiny all over prints. Long skirts only, how dare a larger woman show her legs!  Oh and a bathing suit, eek that is just horrible territory. Mostly black and cover everything, unless you look like a VS Model and in that case, well just let it hang out because the skimpier the better. The rules are just mind boggling and seem to go on forever.

This is my outfit today, hmmm it violates so many of those rules. Horizontal stripes, white and it isn’t Memorial Day yet, the bright color sweater that draws attention to me. Yikes all the things that I shouldn’t do!! And I am honestly not too concerned abt anything other than that. Clothes should make you feel good, if they don’t, who the hell cares how many rules you are following!  Are all of your important parts covered, are you breaking any laws in regards to indecent exposure?  As long as you have answered yes and no to those 2 questions, Then Go For It!!

Because the above Meme is my motto. As long as I am confident, I could be dressed in a paper bag and still look absolutely fantastic!☺:)

I have always stuck to the conversation rule that there just are a few things that shouldn’t be discussed amongst friends, that is if you want to remain friends with them. Religion and Politics top the list.  With the way things are turning in this country that remains harder and harder to do.
     Every time I flip on the news or scroll thru my Facebook Newsfeed I am assaulted by a constant stream of what I term “Ultra-Conservative” Views. Views that constantly tell young women that the only way to be perfect is to be “pure of heart, soul and body”, telling them that sex is evil, that their bodies are not truly their own. These same views I believe are the driving force behind the absurd dress codes that are finding their way into our schools. No tank tops, or camisoles, or sun dresses, skirts have to be an appropriate length, as well as shorts. But on the other hand young boys can wear jeans with their asses hanging out and tight white tank tops termed “wife beaters” . The name one appalls me, never mind the double standard.
     How about we teach our young men to be better behaved instead of teaching our young girls that  their bodies are to be ashamed of. Since when did shoulders and backs and knees or thighs become distracting? Heavens we are not in the 1800’s, it is 2015!!!  I am in no way shape or form advocating that we allow our young girls to walk the streets dressed like hoochie mamas. I am instead advocating that we make our young boys take responsibility for their words ,actions and behaviors!!!
     These same groups of people refuse to allow sex education to be taught to their children, citing it will encourage them to have sex. Entire school districts have banned sex ed because the Church Forbids it.  Wait a minute…back up!!!  We live in a country where church and state are separate…since when did that become ok???
     Since the extreme right, ultra conservatives have taken over, and the fear-mongers have let them.  Chipping away at the females rights a little at a time, and most of us don’t even notice, unless our lives are impacted.
     Purity Balls, virginity cards, devoting yourself to Jesus until you are old enough to marry. Never dating a young man, no kissing, hand holding until your Father decides you will marry and he picks out one for you. Have we been transported back 100 years, and maybe to another country?  Women of the early 1900’s fought for our right to vote, and drive and now the religious nuts are slowly but surely trying to take it all away!!!
     I will be damned if I will let that happen. I was raised Catholic, not crazy Christian and I am just fine with that. I will be the first to admit us Catholics are a bit nuttier than a Christmas Fruitcake with our rules.  Not to mention our scandals have gotten our Priests in a whole lot of trouble over the years.  We are not generally the kind of religious people that want to cram ours down your throat, we are a little more reserved, but we do like our offering plate.  So please lets all keep our religion to ourselves, in our respective Churches or Temples or Mosques where they belong and not part of our political views or our voting practices.   Because truly when you try to shove it down my throat, I am liable to get all high and mighty in your face about what I don’t like about your religion, and trust me, you really won’t like that.
    

     I am the first person to admit that I can’t live without the modern conveniences in life. The idea of living without running water, electricity or indoor plumbing, those things do not interest me. When the power goes out and nothing in my house works, Ugh I am not a happy lady. So the thought of voluntarily choosing to live off the grid, is not one that would ever cross my mind.

     On the news this morning I saw a story of a family that had their children removed due to living “off the grid”.  That I think is extreme, were the children abused, under nourished?  There must be a reason that Kentucky DSS has removed them from the parent’s custody.  But the headline that “Parents living off the grid, had children removed”, is just way too easy for the media to ignore. I do personally know that I am not a fan of outhouses to do my business in. Hell I don’t even like a Port-a-potty if I can avoid one.  Generators for a source of power would drive me bonkers, we have one for emergencies, the thing is loud and temperamental as well. Just give me the kind of power where I flip a switch and the lights come on!!:idea::idea:

     I was scrolling through my Facebook feed tonight and came upon no less than 4 different rants, complaints and generally hilarity about something called a Diva Cup.     To say I am a curious woman would be a mild understatement. I HAD to know what a Diva Cup was and what ALL the fuss was about??
     Some of my friends call me a Diva, I am pretty obsessed about my hair and nails. Oh and don’t get me started on jewelry and shoes. But this kind of Diva Cup doesn’t have anything to do with any of those things!!!!!
     I immediately read the rants, the silly blogs and then began to do some research on what in Sam Hill this thing was.  My research showed me that OMG it is basically an upside down funnel that a woman inserts in her vagina to capture menstrual blood. Ick, yuck, gross, that means that you somehow have to get this contraption out to empty it. Without dumping the blood all over you, your leg, your clothes, the toilet seat, the floor, the wall or anything else within a 15 foot radius.
     It makes me beg the question what the heck is wrong with a tampon?  It has a string to pull it out with, there is no risk of your bathroom looking like a bloodbath. Not to mention the risk of having the damn thing stuck up against your cervix. The thought of having the damn thing stuck and having to resort to professional medical help for removal mortifies me.
     Now I will admit that I had a hysterectomy 4 years ago, so maybe I am out of the loop when it comes to Female Hygiene Products, but still. A cup to collect your menstrual blood, really??  It makes me glad I have boys, I don’t have to wade into that territory. And I know that Tampons carry a risk of toxic shock syndrome, personally I hated pads…they were like wearing a diaper. Before I had my hysterectomy I tried something called the Instead Softcup, it looks sort of like a diaphragm. It worked well but the whole emptying puddles of blood just got to me.
     I guess you could call me squeamish, but the thought of sticking a bendable plastic object that resembles a funnel up my hoohaw. Just because it is supposed to be more ecologically friendly. I think I will pass on that one.

 
  It hit me like a ton of bricks, the proverbial slap in the face and any other cliche you can think of. My first born son is getting ready to graduate from High School. He has written and submitted his Capstone Paper, his Business Plan and his Interview Project.
     Tonight he began to practice his Oral Capstone Presentation with me tonite. He was very nervous, but he knew his information cold, and he should. This is about PEX Tubing, he is a Plumbing Student. When asked why he chose plumbing he said “I decided I would rather flood a basement, then die from electric shock!”  That’s my kid!!

     He just has to remember to slow down, this pertains to the presentation and to growing up and graduating. Mom will get there, I promise, I am running as fast as I can. The knowledge that my son will walk across the stage of FCTS on June 5th and be handed a diploma. With
that diploma in hand he will be ready to take the world by storm. Ok kiddo, I am ready if you are, lets do this thing…As Grampie would say “it’s a lead pipe cinch.”  So take your pipe, or your PEX Tubing and take this world by storm!!!

      As a parent there isn’t anything more disconcerting or upsetting than watching your child in pain. Even when that pain comes from them doing something silly, or stupid. In this case the something being the assumption that baseball players and Peter Pan are one and the same. Baseball players should not jump over catchers, they do not have the ability to fly. This player landed, twisted his ankle and with an imperceptible snap a High School season has been derailed.
      The pain is as much if not more emotional than physical, and yes it hurts like hell. But to tell my son that he can’t play baseball, the sport for which he lives is akin to cutting that ankle off.
     He will spend a minimum of 2 weeks carting a “lovely” plastic boot around on his foot. To stabilize his fractured ankle bone as well all the tendons and ligaments that have been displaced during the jump and resulting fall.
     There is really not anything sadder than a teenager carting around a baseball bag full of all his gear. Even though he can’t use any of it, a bag full of perfectly clean white baseball pants (who the heck made that decision?  Surely not me.) A brand new bat, a well worn and loved glove, blue and white batting gloves. Cleats that fit the size 10.5 feet that he has, a white #5. FCTS Eagles Baseball Jersey and the blue shirt to go under it, a blue belt to keep those sparkling white pants up. Because although he has incredibly long legs, he is so skinny, not an extra pick of meat on his bones. He works out, runs and lifts weights, making me wonder really whose kid he is?  Because as you well know none of those things are considered fun by me.
     I am sure scattered at the bottom of that bag are sunflower seeds that have fallen out of their plastic bags,  bubble gum and Gatorade, all the necessities of a ball player.
     Even though he is on his High School version of the Injured Reserved list he still carries that bag with him, it is his world, his life. What makes him tick, and if he is lucky in 2 weeks all those things can come out, he can put them on and
PLAY BALL!!!⚾⚾⚾

  Now before all of you get all wound up with your panties in a knot over the title and tell me that no one should stand for infidelity. Let me clarify that, the other woman in my husband’s life is a Carquest Store. He sells auto parts, and has for about 36 years, first for his Uncle in a family owned 3 store chain. In July of 2014 that chain was purchased by an independent Carquest Auto Parts Chain.
     That is when things began to change drastically. He works 60+  hours a week, works every Saturday and no amount of whining and screaming on my part will change that. He loves his new boss, and to be fair and honest I like the guy too. I also think his wife is fantastic. But I also want my husband back. I don’t want to have to schedule my life around Carquest.
     A Good Morning, I love you text doesn’t fix it, and even that is absent now. His cell phone is broken and he hasn’t figured out the time to get a new one yet.
     I just want a man who knows how to balance work and family. One who knows that no one ever said “I should have spent more time at work”. Someone who makes time to take their wife to the ER when she has pneumonia, not send her with the 18 year old, because he has to work.  Someone who puts her first, because he knows it is the right thing to do and because he loves her. Not because he knows she will pitch a fit if she hears the word Carquest again.
     Our kids want a summer vacation, but they are realists, they know their Dad wont take time away. So guess what?  This year is the year that Mom says, I will take you to the beach…if he comes he does, and if he chooses to work…so be it!!!

     It is only Saturday and already this has been a hell of a weekend. All of it in an emotionally fantastic wonderful way. Last night my oldest son Kyle went to his Senior Prom with his wonderful girlfriend Kacie.  A night that was filled with joy, fun, splendor and nerves on his part. And on my part it was emotional in completely different ways. He is less than 2 months away from graduation, less than 2 months away from being let loose on the real world. I have news for him though, he will always be my baby regardless of how grown up he is. And he is pretty grown up,.he is almost 6 ft tall now, and a strapping young gentleman. Ready to make the world his own, and take it by storm.

     At 11:30 this morning my youngest son Connor ran in his first 5K. He has an athleticism that never ceases to amaze me. He plays baseball, football and skis as well. He has recently began to run, as part of his baseball training, 5 miles 2 times a week and he truly enjoys it. Running is something that I abhor. It makes my wheezing worse, and we all know how much I like to sweat (dripping with true sarcasm.)  In the last year he has grown in height, he is taller than me, at 5’7″ tall now he is a tall lanky boy. He walks like he owns the world, and as a 15 year old he owns part of it.
     He stretched this morning and I dropped him at the Turners Falls HS to run his first 5K. 22:13 later he finished his first 5K, finishing first in his age class.

     In 24 hours my 2 boys seem to have taken the world by storm. They are growing up, growing into respectable young men. With completely different ideas, views and passions. But they will always be my boys, my babies, regardless of how big or grown up they get.