There are some things in this world that I just don’t understand. Suicide is one of them, some people take it as a sin against God ; or as weakness that the person could no longer handle everything. I just view it as something incomprehensible, like calculus or nuclear physics. Things that just don’t add up and make any sense to me.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, a shifting of the burden and weight to someone else. By taking your own life you leave a gaping hole in the lives of others. A whole that can not be filled. Death is final, it is the last hurrah, the only thing other than taxes that are certain on this merry go round we call life.
A death by suicide messes with the natural order of things. Parents are not meant to bury their children and grandparents should never lay their grandchildren to rest.
I can’t even imagine what goes on in your head of as you contemplate, try and then succeed at committing suicide. The despair, the thoughts of hopelessness, panic, fear, and maybe relief when the final decision is made.
What I do know is that those of us left behind, friends, family and acquaintances are left scratching our heads and wondering what we missed? Were the signs there and we ignored them because we were in denial or did you hide them so well that we never saw them until it was too late.
What I want everyone to know is this.. We can’t erase the past, but we can adjust and rewrite the future. We can put one foot in front of the other, ask for help, find the resources, talk to your friends, your parents, your spouses and significant others and stop this please. Nothing in life is that bad that death is the answer.
This past weekend I had a chance to attend my 30th High School Reunion. It really is no secret to anyone who knows me at all that I hated high school. I was shy, scared, didn’t fit in with the “in crowd” “the jocks” or “the stoners”. I had my small group of core friends, none who were going to the reunion.
I had decided, with information from others that had done this before that once you get to 30 years. All pretenses are gone, you are who you are, the cliques are gone and everyone just gets along. I was pleasantly surprised, because it happened. We all laughed and chatted and danced (in a big group, no coupling off like in high school). We sat at dinner and ate and talked about old times, silly things that happened, what we are doing now. How old our children are, what they are doing now, how long we have been married (if we are married). Some had grandchildren, while some have children in kindergarten.
Suffice to say we have all grown up. It was an experience I truly enjoyed. I only wished that I hadn’t been so shy while I was in High School. Maybe I would have enjoyed my 4 years there as well.
If you by chance you do not know who Kim Davis is, you are either lucky or pay no attention to current events. Kim Davis, Kentucky’s Rowan County Clerk believed that her religious beliefs should outweigh the Federal Law allowing Same-sex Marriage. After multiple warnings and and chastisement Mrs. Davis was arrested. She was arrested for 1 reason and 1 reason only. She refused to issue marriage licenses, which is part of her job. She didn’t step aside and have one of her deputies do it. She flat out refused to allow her office to issue licenses to same sex couples.
Mrs. Davis has been married 4 times. Twice to the same man, technically has children out of wedlock, but professes to be a “good God-fearing Christian”. Mostly because it fits her agenda and plan at the moment.
Mrs. Davis was released from jail today, but if she returns to work she will have to issue same sex marriage licenses. Something she has steadfastly refused to do. Her deputies will continue to issue licenses, even if they are told to stop by her. This is what they stated today.
This is very simple. The US Supreme Court upheld the law making it legal for same sex marriages to occur in every 50 states in this nation. The US Supreme Court is the highest court in the land. The final stopping place on the legal trail of appeals.
Those that say that the Supreme Court has no jurisdiction over this seem to forget Brown vs. Board of Education and Roe vs Wade. These are all landmark cases taken all the way to the Supreme Court.
I am not disputing that Mrs. Davis has the right to her religious beliefs. She just can not cram them down everyone else’s throat and refuse to do her job while standing on her religious soapbox. If she doesn’t want or can’t perform her job with all of its assigned duties because she is morally or religiously opposed. Then she is free to resign or go back to jail, those are her choices.
There seems to be an awful lot of shaming going around lately. Parents shaming their children on-line for behavior that they find inappropriate. With shaming behavior that I find equally as repulsive. I saw a post today on fb of a father holding up a sign in front of his son, detailing all his sons bullying behavior. I abhor bullying, it is an act committed by cowards. That doesn’t mean that I agree with the behavior from the father. He is just as much a bully as his son is, he bullied his son. Shaming him on the same social media that the son used for his bullying. What comes to mind is the old but wise saying “two wrongs don’t make a right”.
I am sure in the fathers eyes he is calling his son out and showing the world what a good parent he is. In my eyes he is showing us all he can embarrass his son on a world wide level. Way to go dad, not!!
This has occurred in other instances, that don’t include social media posting. Cases of parents making their children hold posters on busy streets saying they skipped school, or are flanking classes or stole something. These are all instances to make the teenagers feel tiny and ashamed and the parents feel empowered and in charge. Hello these teens live in your house, you are in charge, you don’t need shaming signs to accomplish that. Last year there was a Barber that was giving young African American children old man haircuts for free, on their parents request if they were not doing well in school. Another kind of shaming, and what does it accomplish? Nothing but making the kids stand out and feel self conscious.
I know it takes a village to raise children, but this village needs to be better behaved, informed and less retaliatory.