What the What…

     I was scrolling through my Facebook feed tonight and came upon no less than 4 different rants, complaints and generally hilarity about something called a Diva Cup.     To say I am a curious woman would be a mild understatement. I HAD to know what a Diva Cup was and what ALL the fuss was about??
     Some of my friends call me a Diva, I am pretty obsessed about my hair and nails. Oh and don’t get me started on jewelry and shoes. But this kind of Diva Cup doesn’t have anything to do with any of those things!!!!!
     I immediately read the rants, the silly blogs and then began to do some research on what in Sam Hill this thing was.  My research showed me that OMG it is basically an upside down funnel that a woman inserts in her vagina to capture menstrual blood. Ick, yuck, gross, that means that you somehow have to get this contraption out to empty it. Without dumping the blood all over you, your leg, your clothes, the toilet seat, the floor, the wall or anything else within a 15 foot radius.
     It makes me beg the question what the heck is wrong with a tampon?  It has a string to pull it out with, there is no risk of your bathroom looking like a bloodbath. Not to mention the risk of having the damn thing stuck up against your cervix. The thought of having the damn thing stuck and having to resort to professional medical help for removal mortifies me.
     Now I will admit that I had a hysterectomy 4 years ago, so maybe I am out of the loop when it comes to Female Hygiene Products, but still. A cup to collect your menstrual blood, really??  It makes me glad I have boys, I don’t have to wade into that territory. And I know that Tampons carry a risk of toxic shock syndrome, personally I hated pads…they were like wearing a diaper. Before I had my hysterectomy I tried something called the Instead Softcup, it looks sort of like a diaphragm. It worked well but the whole emptying puddles of blood just got to me.
     I guess you could call me squeamish, but the thought of sticking a bendable plastic object that resembles a funnel up my hoohaw. Just because it is supposed to be more ecologically friendly. I think I will pass on that one.


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