If you know me, you know that my extended family is a few sandwiches short of a full picnic basket. This makes me both angry and baffled at the same time.  My parents are amazing people, I learned all sorts of real world skills from my Dad; changing a tire, changing the oil, spackling a wall, painting that same wall (albeit I am not very good at painting), hanging curtain rods, how to split wood and knowing when I am out of my league and to call a pro.     

     My Mom taught me patience, something my dad isn’t very good at. She taught me how to make killer spaghetti sauce,amazing lasagna, how to roast a chicken and a turkey. How to make melt in your mouth cheesecake and fantastic chocolate chip cookies. From her I learned how to soothe a baby and how to make a bed, how to balance a checkbook and how to do my taxes, and how to hang those curtains on the rods that dad showed me how to hang straight and plumb.

     In short between the 2 of them I went out into the world pretty well prepared with some common sense and some real world smarts. I also learned the most important lesson from both of them early on. Their love was unconditional, their was nothing I could do that would make them change their love for me. I was their daughter and nothing would change that. I tested that ideal quite a few times throughout my teen years, and the outcome was the same. They would be mad, there would be consequences, but I was still loved and I was still their daughter.

     I have no comprehension of people or parents that just walk away from their children as if that part of their life no longer exists. Walk away from a former spouse a girlfriend, be my guest but your kids?  That takes a certain kind of callous human being that I just don’t understand. I know we live in a disposable society, but human beings are not disposable.

     

    As a full grown,  I would like to think functioning adult I have learned that more times than not you don’t get your own way.  This political season has brought this thought home.  Brought it home in full force,  with the strength of a sledgehammer on steroids.  I knew that being a Bernie Supporter was gonna hurt.  I knew that he just couldn’t win the nomination, somewhere deep down on my pragmatic political heart I just knew that supporting him was gonna hurt, but I did it anyway.  What I was not prepared for was the level of hurt by watching the Republican Nominee and his supporters.  As I stated I like to think that I am intelligent, that is why I can’t fathom how he has brought so many people to his side.  So many of my “friends”,  that I really thought had it together.  Yet they seem to think that his brand of hate and bluster will be productive for this country. I have come to believe that his supporters have ignited a level of hate bubbling under the surface,  that I really did not know was there.  Hate for immigrants,  disabled persons,  persons of color,  and in general people that don’t look exactly like you.  That is not the way I was raised,  and it is not a belief system,  nor a level of hate I will condone.  I completely get that so many people are frustrated and disillusioned with the status quo of politics as usual.  But does that mean that you throw the baby out with the bathwater?  

    No it means you work hard to fix the problem,  not that you chuck the whole system and start again from square one. By pulling that Red lever you may think that you are sending a message,  well yes you are,  but you are sending one that will haunt us for 4 years. How are we ever gonna recover from this?  With the Republicans steadily chipping away at Roe v. Wade, DJT wanting to build a wall around this country and isolate us and the current unrest that we are experiencing between the Cops and people they are meant to serve.  I am scared,  we are not a country of isolationists,  we are the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave. 

    I am not enamored with the Democratic Nominee,  but if given the choice between the Devil incarnate known as DJT or the First Woman Nominee from a Major Party known as HRC.  She may not have been my first choice,  but I will take HRC over the Reality TV Show Star with 4 bankruptcies to his name and bad hair any day. 

    

      It is an undeniable fact of life, some weekends are better than others.  Some weekends you spend doing laundry and lounging on the couch watching countless reruns of Law &  Order.  While other weekends are of the epic variety.  This past weekend falls into the second category for my hubby &  I.  

    My hubby is a Store Manager for Genden Auto Parts in Shelburne Falls, MA.  His boss sponsored a NASCAR K&N Series Race car at NHMS in Loudon NH.  A car driven by Corey Lajoie.  We were told that if he wins we would end up in Victory Lane,  but I never expected it.  We spent the day with Corey’s crew,  watching him run in the Xfinity Race from his hauler,  being fed some of the most amazing food ever,  and just watching them work and listening to them chat and banter back and forth. 

     Before the race started Turbo,  Corey ‘s Pit Boss set us up Captains Chairs in the pits “to make us look important”, he told us.  He then plunked race scanners on our heads so we could listen to everything.  

The race was stopped at just under the halfway point for a accident that required the roof to be cut off.  When it restarted,  Corey took the lead and never let it go.  With 5 laps to go,  Turbo leaned in and said “When he wins this race,  drop the scanners and run to Victory Lane,  but you will get wet”! 

On Sunday we decompressed by going to the beach,  and stopping for a nice dinner on our way home.  It was a weekend that I will never forget.  Mark’s boss is an amazing guy,  he treats my husband like a prince and for that I will complain less about 70 hr weeks,  because everything is a trade off.  

     Changes in Latitude,  Changes in Attitude.  To quote Jimmy Buffet.  I have embarked on a change.  Not in latitude,  I haven’t moved,  but in attitude.  I have changed my way of eating and have embraced the Low Carb High Fat Lifestyle or LCHF for short.  If you know anything about me you know that I research the hell out of anything before I jump in and this endeavor is no exception.  I have figured out how to bread things with almond flour or crushed up Pork Rinds.  I have made Cheese Chips,  Pepperoni Chips,  Keto Cheesecake Fluff,  No Crust Quiche,  Shrimp Filled lettuce wraps and Taco Salads with not a chip in sight.  I have also embraced the idea that my body needs water,  at least 130 oz of it a day, I thought I would float away,  but I didn’t.  I have always loved veggies, all kinds,  shapes and sizes so that was never an issue.  I now just eat way more of them. I also learned that eggs, bacon and butter are my friends, that heavy cream and cream cheese are staples, and that coconut oil is a wonderful thing. Trying to get my brain to accept these things is a little more challenging.

     Re-learning 25+ years of “healthy”  eating habits is a process.  Learning to grab for Pepperoni and Salami or Slim Jim’s as a snack instead of an apple or a peach was a challenge, but I am getting there. 

     I have taken most of my family on this journey with me.  Only one is exempt,  he is skinny enough as it is.  As I have said before being healthy is my goal,  to make my asthma behave,  get my thyroid under control,  and just generally feel better.  Being thin would be an amazing added plus,  I am shooting for being the size I was when I got married.  Which is totally attainable, considering that I have already left 8lbs behind in just under 2 weeks.  I am not saying I lost them,  because that implies that I want to find them,  and I have no intention of finding this weight again.

     We live in a world where opportunities are viewed as open doors.  There is no law that says you have to walk through that open door though.  Maybe the glimpse that you see on the other side isn’t appealing.  And it has nothing to do with hard work.  It has more to do with your  goals and the changes that you know life will bring. Just because that door is open does not mean that you need to jump through it.

It might not be the right door,  or opportunity for you. Patience is a virtue and one that is hard one and should be valued as much as hard work and determination.  Wait for the right door,  it will be there,  I promise. 
    

    

     Just wait 10 minutes and the weather will change.  I have been waiting all week for this rain and dreary weather to go away, to no avail.  The poor New England Meteorologists might as well be on a constant dismal loop.  “The weather will be rainy and chilly again today,  Monday,  Tuesday,  Wednesday,  Thursday… Oh wait we might get a tiny bit of sun on Friday.  But Saturday will be dreary again,  and Mothers Day.. Well that is a good day for letting mom sleep.  Finally the sun will make an appearance on Monday!!!
     By Monday I will be wrinkled and damp and ready to float away.  I know we need the rain, we have been so dry that we have been under a fire warning.  But did the rain really need to come all in the same week?
     Everyone complains about the weather, but no one does anything about it.  We just grumble and whine. 
     But I for 1 feel that this forecast sure is something to whine about. !! 🌪️🌫️🌨️⛈️

     On Saturday Kyle and Kacie went to her High School Senior Prom.  She was absolutely GORGEOUS,  she looked like the embodiment of a princess.  Just glowing and smiling from ear to ear.  As I watched both of them get dressed and ready,  I couldn’t help but feel so proud and yet emotional at the same time. 

     At one point in time I was adjusting Kyle’s vest and tie because they weren’t straight.  He pulled away and said “what are you doing Mom?,  I said I am fixing you, you aren’t straight.”  He countered with “I’m an adult,  I pay my own taxes,  leave me be”!  I finished straightening him and walked away giggling. 

     He may be an adult in his eyes,  and yes he does pay his own taxes.  But he will always be my son.  No matter how old he is. Roots and Wings,  the ability to give your children a strong foundation,  yet at the same time give them the ability to fly away. 

     I fully intended to watch Connor play baseball this afternoon,  but Mother Nature had different ideas.  On the way to the field it began to sprinkle.  I looked at him and said “it is just a passing shower,  coach said that the rain and thunderstorms won’t be here till 6:30. We pulled into the parking lot,  he got out,  grabbed his gear and walked in the sprinkles towards the field.

     I stayed in the car to call
A T & T because his phone had decided to bite the dust today.  While on the phone with the Customer Service Rep the rain became steadily harder and then the thunder started.

     In years of Rec League Ball I have suffered through “swamp ass”.  Where the rain runs off the edges of your umbrella,  down your back into your underwear.  There it forms a puddle,  ie  “swamp ass”.  All while keeping score and trying to keep the book dry, because keeping score on a wet book is pretty fruitless.  I don’t have to do that now that he plays High School Ball.  I am content to stay warm and dry in my car.  Until either the rain stops,  the game is over,  or they call it because it isn’t safe for them to play.
☔☔⚾⚾😉

  

    It is the time of year,  the time where my family’s life seems to endlessly revolve around diamonds.  Not the kind that sparkle,  the kind that make teenage boys knees dirty,  make their hearts pound and and make them run for home.  The baseball diamonds.
     Connor is playing for Franklin County Tech,  mostly 2nd base,  but some Left Field and Short Stop too.  I have watched him play this game,  the game that he loves since 2nd grade.  Starting as a First Baseman,  then as a Pitcher (that is a position that is both terrifying and exciting.)  He has grown up both physically and emotionally,  turning into a young man and quite a mature one at that.
     To watch him put on his uniform,  lace up his cleats,  don his hat and step onto the field is something that makes me proud every time.  He knows how to both win and lose with grace,  how to know that baseball is the greatest sport of his life,  but it isn’t the end all and be all of his life.  It has made him a well rounded young man and turned him into the man that he is today. A young man that I am very proud of, not just on the diamond but off as well.

    

I have had the following motto for as long as I can remember “Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History”.  It is a quote or motto that sums up standing up for what you believe in.  Not being a wallflower or too afraid to have an opinion and voice it.  The quote is attributed to Laurel Thatcher Ulrich a Puliltzer Prize Winning author,  but if you Google the quote it is also attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt,  Anne Boleyn ,  Marilyn Monroe and Anonymous.  It is pretty scary how the Internet can take off with something,  and distort the tru meaning and origin of a quote.  When Mark and I were in Arizona 2 years ago I found a bracelet with this quote engraved on it,  I can look at it every day and it reminds me to stand up for my beliefs and  my ideals.  That if I can defend my actions and they are not violent than I should support them.
     My dad’s favorite quote is “Getting old is not for sissies”,  and now that I am approaching 50, I wholeheartedly agree. Aging is something that I totally prefer to the alternative,  but there are times that it sucks.

     My newest favorite quote isn’t near as nice as the previous 2. It is best shown by its initials FFS,  when spelled out meaning For Fucks Sake.  My version of WTF?  I have also found as I have aged my patience has diminished,  so FFS has become my mantra,  sometimes spoken,  or just quietly running through my head.  So if you see me roll my eyes,  you can bet that I am thinking honestly FFS people???