I have been thinking quite a bit lately about how our lives our impacted by Social Media.  With our Smart Phones many of us are connected every waking moment.  From Facebook,  Twitter,  Texting,  Snapchat,  LinkedIn, Yelp, Emails, and the list goes on.  We are rarely out of touch,  with our friends, family and co-workers. 

That electronic connection comes at a heavy price, that price is that we don’t communicate well with each other face to face.  We rant on Facebook,  we send snarky emails to each other and we lose the ability to communicate.  I heard it said well by a commentator a few weeks ago,  “When you hide behind your twitter account and your thousands of followers, or let your PR people say it for you.  It is digital bullshit,  be a grown up and say it face to face to face!”

I have a Bachelor of Science in Communication with a Minor in Finance.  My Dad always says he spent good money for me to be able to talk.  In all seriousness,  in 2016 what would a degree in Communication entail?  Tweeting or sending Facebook messages to each other,  correctly updating your status with a picture that makes sense???

“He puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. Maybe Christmas, he thought… doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps… means a little bit more!”

It is no surprise that I adore The Grinch and also Dr. Seuss.  To the point that my boys won’t even watch it with me anymore, because I talk right along with Boris Karloff.  I sing the songs and just know it by heart.  It never gets old.

After the craziness of “Black Friday” and “Cyber Monday” maybe more people need to take a page out of the book and realize that Christmas doesn’t come from a store.  Christmas should be about time to spend together, not about what we spend on each other. 

I love the fact that my family will be together Christmas morning to open gifts.  We will have dinner together we will laugh and joke together.  Something that a lot of people don’t get to do.  For that I am thankful.

     Thanksgiving is the holiday of family and togetherness.  No gifts exchanged, just good food, good friends and good times.  For me this year it was not to be. 

     I woke up at 1 am Thursday morning with the most intense stomach pain, coupled with shivering and shaking.  By 7 am I had made more trips to the bathroom than I have counting appendages.  I had finally come to the conclusion that me riding 2.5 hrs to Connecticut was not feasible. 

     After discussing our options with my husband,  we decided that  they would go to my parents without me, taking the Broccoli Casserole and Apple Spice Cake with them. 

     I shipped my family off, took some tylenol and went back to bed.  I slept my day away,  wishing I was in Connecticut with my family but glad that I wasn’t spreading this crud any farther.
   
     By 7pm they were home with leftovers in tow and this morning has dawned with me 9lbs lighter,   not the way I wud have planned to lose it,  but oh well.

  

      This week starts the American Holiday Season.  Thanksgiving,  and then we will head on to Christmas.  As The Grinch was told “Christmas can come without boxes and bows”.  But Thanksgiving cannot come without food.
     Turkey,  some families add ham too, Mashed Potatoes, Sweet Potatoes, Stuffing, Turnip, Creamed Onions,  Green Bean Casserole, Broccoli and cauliflower Casserole with Bleu Cheese in our House, Cranberry Relish and Homemade Crescent Rolls.  Added to that for dessert,  Apple Spice Layer Cake with Citrus Spiced Cream football Frosting, Pumpkin Pie and Pumpkin Pie. 
     All of this goodness will be followed by cups of coffee,  mulled cider and good drinks.  Lots of laughter, good natured teasing,  trips down memory lane,  maybe some tears, and of course football. 🏈🏈

     I truly love my family and I can’t wait to see them tomorrow,  I would be excited even without the food,  but the food sure doesn’t hurt.  😊

    

    

     It should be no big surprise, even in death you are still playing favorites.  For as long as I can remember I was not among one of your favorites.  I wasn’t thin enough,  or quiet enough,  or girly enough,  or whatever enough.  There was always a reason that I didn’t measure up for you. 
     Finally somewhere along the line I stopped worrying, or maybe even trying to live up to your impossible standards.  At least I thought I gave up striving for your standards,  but it became obvious that was not true. 
     The little girl in me just wanted to be loved and cherished, something that was impossible for you to do.
     I find it ironic that one of the last things you said to me was “you look beautiful today”.  I honestly can’t remember you telling me that ever.  It was always,  you would look nice if… your hair was lighter,  you lost some weight, your skirt was shorter/longer etc. 
     I can’t change the past,  but what I can change is the way it affects me in the future.  As in I won’t let it affect me.  The past is the past and it will stay there. 
     I am a strong independent woman with a great close family that loves me,  and those are all the most important parts of the equation. 

A blog post in Memes about the Political Contenders for US President.

    

      It should be no secret to anyone how I feel about addiction.  I have written a few posts about the overwhelming heroin addiction issue that has  Northern New England in its tight grasp.  But let’s talk for a minute about the substance that is legal to buy, if you are of age, and yet can be so addictive that it ruins lives.

     The substance that I am referring to is alcohol,  whether your liquor of choice is Beer, Gin, Bourbon, Vodka, Rum, Tequila, Fireball,  Wine… The list could go on for paragraphs.  You can go into any convenience or grocery store with a liquor license and get your fix.  Beer is touted as the beverage to drink and have fun with your friends with.  In tiny little print on the ad it says  “always drink responsibly”.  Alcoholics don’t read tiny print nor do they drink responsibly. 

     Alcohol in excess ruins lives,  alcoholics lie, cheat, steal.  In short they will do anything to feed their habit,  but you can legally purchase their drug as long as you are 21 years of age.  That is what makes it so difficult to deal with.  There comes a point in time when most of their friends get tired of being lied to and scammed.  They can no longer trust what comes out of their mouths.
    Once an alcoholic makes the decision to get sober,  don’t kid yourself, there will be setbacks.  An average of 4 of them before sobriety takes hold.  I have witnessed this first hand,  the final results once sobriety is gained is a beautiful thing.  Often the road there can be full of potholes, unpaved sections,  switchbacks and precipices, but if you follow it to its conclusion,  sobriety will be the reward.

    

   

     To say that the Northeast is one of the most liberal areas of the US would be a grand understatement.  New Hampshire with its state slogan of “Live Free or Die”,  and Massachusetts slogan being “By the sword we seek peace, but peace only under liberty.” But once the discussion turns to energy and specifically alternative energy sources all talks of peace and freedom goes out the nearest window.  Solar Farms and Wind Turbine Farms will have town meetings packed to capacity, quicker than you can notice your neighbor has another unregistered vehicle up on blocks in their yard.

     Wind Turbines,  bring out the residents armed with studies about WTS (Wind Turbine Syndrome), and how they are an eyesore,  noisy, kill bats and birds and a host of other complaints to block their installation. Let’s be real about how many birds a Wind Turbine kills.  They kill 214-368 million a year,  BUT 6.8 Million are killed in collisions with radio and cell towers,  and 1.4- 3.7 Billion are killed annually by the common house cat.  I don’t see people asking for them to be eradicated.

      As for them being noisy,  the average decibel output of a wind turbine is 43db,  to put that in context  an AC unit puts out 50db and your refrigerator puts out 40db. So that seems a pretty lame argument.  Naysayers will argue that they cause sleep problems, irritability, vertigo, childhood learning disabilities, and mood issues.  But there seems to be no proof of these claims,  to me it sounds like another case of NIMBY (Not in My Backyard).

     Solar Panels don’t elicit as much of a negative response,  but they do have their opponents as well.  Complaints that they are an eyesore,  that they also kill birds.  Solar Panels kill birds much the same way a window does,  birds sees panels as a body of water due to their reflective properties.  They try and land on them when the panels are super hot and get scorched or even in high heat scenarios they get incinerated.  Opponents of solar that complain the panels are an eyesore,  most are on roofs,  or poles and just don’t look at them. As for solar farms installed for large businesses or municipalities.  These farms make no noise,  no pollution,  no odor.  Just close your eyes as you go by,  because they are generally in an industrial area and you don’t live next door.

     We as a nation are truly dependent on fossil fuels being it oil,  natural gas or even coal.  In my view this dependency needs to stop.  Solar and wind are already there,  we are just harnessing them for our power needs. As a nation,  a state or a region we can’t stick our fingers in our ears and repeat “La, LA, LA,  can’t hear you”, and make this problem vanish like Bewitched and her magic nose.  It is time to deal with the hard facts.

    

   

     Anything can be an emotional trigger,  a trigger that brings back a flood of good emotions, or bad ones as well. This past week has been one full of flooding emotions.  My children are lucky,  they got to enjoy time with their great grandmother.  That doesn’t happen to everyone.  A large number of their friends don’t have grandparents,  much less the previous generation.  We all spent last Friday at the funeral and every time I turned around there was another trigger.  The grave site was a trigger to when my grandfather died 31 years ago,  my first real brush with death,  and how it still felt now.  I was a just an older version of the kid who hated being left back then.  My dad and his brothers are 31 years older,  and many of the family members are gone all together.  I have a husband and children now that I didn’t back then,  hell I was still in high school when he died,  but the emotions were still the same.
     When I thought of my Jama this past weekend,  and I did a lot of it.  New memories surfaced each time.  Each time she saw my boys she gave them money and a bag of Crunchy Cheetoes.  I always ate half of them.  They are one of my weaknesses.  At the JDRF Walk on Sunday I got a hot dog and the bag of chips they handed me were Cheetoes.

    It was all I could do not to cry while munching away.  My fingers were all orange when I was done,  and I knew she was with me.
     Monday morning I had a cup of tea before work in the fancy cup that she gave me.  One of the pretty blue and gold leaf ones that Mrs.  Ranson brought her back from Bermuda.  After my tea was done I had to go and reapply my makeup.  I am sure I will have more days like this as time goes on and more triggers surface.  But I am just remembering what a good friend told me.  “Cry if you need to,  keeping it bottled up doesn’t do anyone any good,  let it out,  that’s the way we were made.” Thank you,  you are very right!! 😊😢

   

    Everyone deals with grief in completely different ways.  I try to let it out so that it doesn’t eat me alive.  That being said, I cry like a big baby, mascara and eyeliner running down my face like a bad clown.  I know they make waterproof mascara,  but someone really needs to invent waterproof eyeliner,  could the big wigs at Maybelline get on that ASAP!!!
     Grief comes in different forms,  the sudden kind.. That just blows you away, you never saw it coming and now along with the grief you have to deal with the feeling of being blindsided by it. 
     The kind of grief that comes with a death from a long illness gives you time to prepare.  Although I am not sure you are ever really prepared for the hole that is now in your life.  The hole that is there where that person used to be. 
     The grief will diminish over time,  but it will never completely dissipate.  Just like the love you have for that person will never change. 
     I have learned to live with both kinds of grief in my lifetime.  I can’t tell you that either one is better than the other.  They both are heartbreaking.  But they are the price that comes with love,  and to have love in my life I will take that price.