First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.- Martin Niemoller

I am afraid, afraid of what the next 4 years will bring in the country that I love, the country that I was raised in, the country that I call home. I joked before this election that if I didn’t like the outcome I was fleeing to Canada or someplace else. That is not the case, I will stay and fight, fight for the country that I believe in. I will stand up for what I believe is right. I will speak up, speak up for the melting pot that this country is. This is what we are, and what we always have been, and 4 years of HIM, will NOT change that!!!

Edmund Burke said it as well: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”. I for one will do something, whether it is to lobby my local representatives or work hard at the local level for what I believe in, you can bet your sweet ass I will do something!!

The night of the election I was pacing and generally worrying myself to death, I was on the phone with my dad and he said “there is nothing you can do about it now, we just have to let it play out, just turn the channel and find something else to watch”. My comment was “who made me this political? Who taught me to care as much as I do? You did!! And now I care about this, it is my future!”

As I watch his cabinet take shape I shake my head in disbelief and horror. At the same time realizing that there are people who voted for him. The “Anus Mouthed Leathery Tangerine” as the Liberal Redneck had termed him.  He and his group of friends and cronies scare the living shit out of me. He sounds to me like a damn dictator, he has way too much money and the ability to throw it around with abandon.

He has tapped into the hate that has been bubbling under the surface for the last 8 years. The racism, and the redneck, good-ole boy network. Making them all excited that someone was gonna bring back those high paying jobs that were shipped overseas. Did no one notice his suits, ties and all his daughters clothing line is made in CHINA? He ran on a platform of LIES!!!  As a smart, educated, liberal woman. I think it is time we shut that good-ole boy network down.

 

I went to sleep the night of the 2016 Presidential Election full of hope. Hope that we as a nation we would have shattered the glass ceiling, hope that we would have set this country onto her feet again, dusted her off so that she may strut her stuff. Instead what I feel is fear. Fear mixed with equal parts of shame and dread. Fear of what same future holds, shame at what some of my country people did, and what the Electoral College did, and dread at what those actions will bring.

I am a woman who came of age in the 80’s, when the first generation of “Yuppie” Women were told we could do and be anything we wanted to be. We could work, have families, children, powerful careers. In short, Have it ALL!!. Or we could forego the family for a career if that was what we chose, there was no shame or judgement. We could clear our won path and make our own way. Roe v. Wade was part of that great shift, women had full control over our bodies, we could make reproductive decisions, we had access to birth control, money and in some ways power. Roe v. Wade has been slowly whittled away, state by state, as the Religious Right believes that abortion is a Religious and a Political decision not a personal or a medical one.

In the past decade my friends in the LGBT community have fought their own battles. Battles to love their own way, to end discrimination in the workplace, to adopt children as a couple. to marry and have that marriage validated and recognized in every state in the union if the relocate. Finally on July 26, 2015 that became the law of the land. LGBT couples rushed to marry in every state that had denied them the right before. As a resident of Massachusetts LGBT couples had enjoyed that right for many years, but if they relocated there was no guarantee their marriage would be recognized in another state. A fact that I find both reprehensible and sad. Who you love is not a choice, it is biology, pure and simple.

I have tried to be upbeat and positive and not mourn the choice of this election, and wait to see how things have played out. As President Elect Trump has announced 2 of his cabinet members that positivity and patience has begun to wane. Trump has announced his Chief Strategist-Stephen Bannon. A man who is best known as a White Nationalist, an unabashed Anti-Semite and a racist, he also has has published writings that are very hateful to American Core Values. He is the one who scares me the most, who espouses my fear the most. He reflects everything that I didn’t want about a Trump Presidency. A man who believes it is his way or no way. A man who has more in common with Rush Limbaugh than any Political Moderate. This announcement was followed with his Chief of Staff as Reince Preibus. The current RNC Chairman, is the appointee who is trying to calm us all down. He is the peacemaker, not that I see any peace on the horizon in this presidency.

I am trying not to be an alarmist, I really am, I am trying to let things play out, honestly I am. I was raised to listen to all points of view before you jump to any conclusions. But my point of view is this: the amount of hate and discontent that has been bubbling just below the surface in this country has finally found a voice. It found a voice in the form of an Old White Millionaire that promised to Restore Jobs, Deport Immigrants, and Make America like it used to be in the Ozzie and Harriet Days. I happen to be of the mindset that things in the 50’s were neither glorious nor wonderful and those days aren’t gonna be so great.

 

So in that notion I am not gonna mourn this election, or protest the results because neither will any good. I am gonna find the best outlet I can and I am gonna fight. I am gonna fight for the continuation of Roe v. Wade, fight for my friends in the LGBT community and fight to keep the idea of Affordable Care alive. We need all need access to Health Care, not just the ones that can afford the best care, everyone does. No one should be forced to choose between medication or rent. I was raised to stand up for what i believe in, and these are things that I believe in. No one will tell me different, and I dare you to debate me. Bring it on!!!

     This has probably been the most contentious election that I can remember. Mud has been slung much earlier than normal and the personal insults are highly disturbing. These insults come from both sides, neither is immune to them.

     What I find highly disturbing is the most recent remarks by Trump about how he would fight to remove womens access to “Late Term Abortions “, calling them inhumane and barbaric. He has little right to make that assumption. He is neither a woman nor part of the medical field.  A Late Term Abortion is not because a woman forgot about her pregnancy or just changed her mind. It is because there is something drastically wrong with the fetus that can not be remedied. 

   The Republican Party has been summarily stripping away access to Roe v. Wade since it was passed in 1973, and as women we need to stand up to them.  I had a friend of a fb friend tell me that my body doesn’t belong to me, it belongs to God. Therefore I can’t chose what to do with it. That is eerily scary and reminiscent of the Stepford Wives. 

     My body, my decision, my choice, and that choice is a Democratic Vote in November. Sending a clear message. We have fought to hard to get here, and we have miles left to go, We are not letting you stop us now.

     Not by a man who looks like he got in a fight with a spray tan machine, while arguing with his toupee maker. I think I will pass on that one.

I know that feeling all to well. When you feel like you are the “fat friend”, the one with the great personality that has everything going for them, but the rocking size 8 body that you want so damn much. And that you have tried every damn thing and diet that has come down the pike, eaten barely nothing for days, exercised until every muscle you own screams. And still the scale refuses to budge, along with the tape measure. So you just give in and eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. I have been there!! 

Finally after researching the crap out of it I dipped my toe into the Low Carb/High Fat (further known as LCHF) lifestyle. And damn it, it worked. The pounds began to come off, it took a bit for my brain to get with the program. To understand that Carbs are the enemy not Fat Grams. But once both my body and my brain became Keto Adapted, it was easy. I learned to adapt favorite recipes, combat constipation and realize that my body doesn’t know natural sugar in fruit from table sugar from sugar in bread, rice or my personal favorite pasta. 

I love bacon, steak, sausage and chicken thighs. I have re-trained my family to accept what is for dinner and deal with it. My cholesterol is great, so don’t even give me the spiel abt how it will raise those numbers. My body is healthy and it is working for me. 

I may never be a Size 8 again, at 5’9″ tall and with my build a size 8 with the weight that it brings is kind of unrealistic and might make me look pretty undernourished and sickly. I will b happy when I get to a 12 and securely out of the Plus Size realm. Right now I am sitting at a standard 16, a size I haven’t seen in 3 years, with a bra size that I haven’t seen in twice as many years. I am also learning not to be scale obsessed, to be more concerned about things that fit and how they look.

Thinking Outside The Box of the Standard American Diet has led me on a journey to be happier and healthier than I have been in years!😊

     
     If you know me, you know that my extended family is a few sandwiches short of a full picnic basket. This makes me both angry and baffled at the same time.  My parents are amazing people, I learned all sorts of real world skills from my Dad; changing a tire, changing the oil, spackling a wall, painting that same wall (albeit I am not very good at painting), hanging curtain rods, how to split wood and knowing when I am out of my league and to call a pro.     

     My Mom taught me patience, something my dad isn’t very good at. She taught me how to make killer spaghetti sauce,amazing lasagna, how to roast a chicken and a turkey. How to make melt in your mouth cheesecake and fantastic chocolate chip cookies. From her I learned how to soothe a baby and how to make a bed, how to balance a checkbook and how to do my taxes, and how to hang those curtains on the rods that dad showed me how to hang straight and plumb.

     In short between the 2 of them I went out into the world pretty well prepared with some common sense and some real world smarts. I also learned the most important lesson from both of them early on. Their love was unconditional, their was nothing I could do that would make them change their love for me. I was their daughter and nothing would change that. I tested that ideal quite a few times throughout my teen years, and the outcome was the same. They would be mad, there would be consequences, but I was still loved and I was still their daughter.

     I have no comprehension of people or parents that just walk away from their children as if that part of their life no longer exists. Walk away from a former spouse a girlfriend, be my guest but your kids?  That takes a certain kind of callous human being that I just don’t understand. I know we live in a disposable society, but human beings are not disposable.

     

    As a full grown,  I would like to think functioning adult I have learned that more times than not you don’t get your own way.  This political season has brought this thought home.  Brought it home in full force,  with the strength of a sledgehammer on steroids.  I knew that being a Bernie Supporter was gonna hurt.  I knew that he just couldn’t win the nomination, somewhere deep down on my pragmatic political heart I just knew that supporting him was gonna hurt, but I did it anyway.  What I was not prepared for was the level of hurt by watching the Republican Nominee and his supporters.  As I stated I like to think that I am intelligent, that is why I can’t fathom how he has brought so many people to his side.  So many of my “friends”,  that I really thought had it together.  Yet they seem to think that his brand of hate and bluster will be productive for this country. I have come to believe that his supporters have ignited a level of hate bubbling under the surface,  that I really did not know was there.  Hate for immigrants,  disabled persons,  persons of color,  and in general people that don’t look exactly like you.  That is not the way I was raised,  and it is not a belief system,  nor a level of hate I will condone.  I completely get that so many people are frustrated and disillusioned with the status quo of politics as usual.  But does that mean that you throw the baby out with the bathwater?  

    No it means you work hard to fix the problem,  not that you chuck the whole system and start again from square one. By pulling that Red lever you may think that you are sending a message,  well yes you are,  but you are sending one that will haunt us for 4 years. How are we ever gonna recover from this?  With the Republicans steadily chipping away at Roe v. Wade, DJT wanting to build a wall around this country and isolate us and the current unrest that we are experiencing between the Cops and people they are meant to serve.  I am scared,  we are not a country of isolationists,  we are the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave. 

    I am not enamored with the Democratic Nominee,  but if given the choice between the Devil incarnate known as DJT or the First Woman Nominee from a Major Party known as HRC.  She may not have been my first choice,  but I will take HRC over the Reality TV Show Star with 4 bankruptcies to his name and bad hair any day. 

    

      It is an undeniable fact of life, some weekends are better than others.  Some weekends you spend doing laundry and lounging on the couch watching countless reruns of Law &  Order.  While other weekends are of the epic variety.  This past weekend falls into the second category for my hubby &  I.  

    My hubby is a Store Manager for Genden Auto Parts in Shelburne Falls, MA.  His boss sponsored a NASCAR K&N Series Race car at NHMS in Loudon NH.  A car driven by Corey Lajoie.  We were told that if he wins we would end up in Victory Lane,  but I never expected it.  We spent the day with Corey’s crew,  watching him run in the Xfinity Race from his hauler,  being fed some of the most amazing food ever,  and just watching them work and listening to them chat and banter back and forth. 

     Before the race started Turbo,  Corey ‘s Pit Boss set us up Captains Chairs in the pits “to make us look important”, he told us.  He then plunked race scanners on our heads so we could listen to everything.  

The race was stopped at just under the halfway point for a accident that required the roof to be cut off.  When it restarted,  Corey took the lead and never let it go.  With 5 laps to go,  Turbo leaned in and said “When he wins this race,  drop the scanners and run to Victory Lane,  but you will get wet”! 

On Sunday we decompressed by going to the beach,  and stopping for a nice dinner on our way home.  It was a weekend that I will never forget.  Mark’s boss is an amazing guy,  he treats my husband like a prince and for that I will complain less about 70 hr weeks,  because everything is a trade off.  

     Changes in Latitude,  Changes in Attitude.  To quote Jimmy Buffet.  I have embarked on a change.  Not in latitude,  I haven’t moved,  but in attitude.  I have changed my way of eating and have embraced the Low Carb High Fat Lifestyle or LCHF for short.  If you know anything about me you know that I research the hell out of anything before I jump in and this endeavor is no exception.  I have figured out how to bread things with almond flour or crushed up Pork Rinds.  I have made Cheese Chips,  Pepperoni Chips,  Keto Cheesecake Fluff,  No Crust Quiche,  Shrimp Filled lettuce wraps and Taco Salads with not a chip in sight.  I have also embraced the idea that my body needs water,  at least 130 oz of it a day, I thought I would float away,  but I didn’t.  I have always loved veggies, all kinds,  shapes and sizes so that was never an issue.  I now just eat way more of them. I also learned that eggs, bacon and butter are my friends, that heavy cream and cream cheese are staples, and that coconut oil is a wonderful thing. Trying to get my brain to accept these things is a little more challenging.

     Re-learning 25+ years of “healthy”  eating habits is a process.  Learning to grab for Pepperoni and Salami or Slim Jim’s as a snack instead of an apple or a peach was a challenge, but I am getting there. 

     I have taken most of my family on this journey with me.  Only one is exempt,  he is skinny enough as it is.  As I have said before being healthy is my goal,  to make my asthma behave,  get my thyroid under control,  and just generally feel better.  Being thin would be an amazing added plus,  I am shooting for being the size I was when I got married.  Which is totally attainable, considering that I have already left 8lbs behind in just under 2 weeks.  I am not saying I lost them,  because that implies that I want to find them,  and I have no intention of finding this weight again.

     We live in a world where opportunities are viewed as open doors.  There is no law that says you have to walk through that open door though.  Maybe the glimpse that you see on the other side isn’t appealing.  And it has nothing to do with hard work.  It has more to do with your  goals and the changes that you know life will bring. Just because that door is open does not mean that you need to jump through it.

It might not be the right door,  or opportunity for you. Patience is a virtue and one that is hard one and should be valued as much as hard work and determination.  Wait for the right door,  it will be there,  I promise. 
    

    

     Just wait 10 minutes and the weather will change.  I have been waiting all week for this rain and dreary weather to go away, to no avail.  The poor New England Meteorologists might as well be on a constant dismal loop.  “The weather will be rainy and chilly again today,  Monday,  Tuesday,  Wednesday,  Thursday… Oh wait we might get a tiny bit of sun on Friday.  But Saturday will be dreary again,  and Mothers Day.. Well that is a good day for letting mom sleep.  Finally the sun will make an appearance on Monday!!!
     By Monday I will be wrinkled and damp and ready to float away.  I know we need the rain, we have been so dry that we have been under a fire warning.  But did the rain really need to come all in the same week?
     Everyone complains about the weather, but no one does anything about it.  We just grumble and whine. 
     But I for 1 feel that this forecast sure is something to whine about. !! 🌪️🌫️🌨️⛈️