Melancholy

  

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   Our lives are a big circle,  one enters this world and another leaves it, completing the circle. Those entrances and exits don’t necessarily happen in the same day,  but they are usually pretty close in calendar proximity.  The same day that my oldest was born,  an elderly aunt exited the world.  When I was waiting for my youngest to be born,  as much as I wanted him to get here soon.  I knew that once he came,  my mother’s  dear friend battling colon cancer would exit this world. She was my angel, a peds nurse who constantly checked on me during my terrible pregnancy.  No matter how bad,  or sick she was feeling.  I knew once Connor entered this world that Susie would exit it,  the circle would be complete,  but there would be heartbreak as well as joy.

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     These circles are never easy,  it doesn’t matter how long you have been on this earth. You or your family are never ready to let go. To let you slip from your earthly bounds and walk with angels.
     That is the internal struggle that is waging within me right now.  No matter how many years,  months, days or minutes you have with a loved one.  It never is enough.  So it begs the question “how much time is enough?”  In my opinion I don’t think we ever think we have enough time.  We always want more,  time,  moments,  precious memories made. 

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     At the risk of sounding like a bad Hallmark Card,  take it from someone whose heart is hurting right now.  Love everyone around you,  forgive easily,  remember the good times and put the bad ones to rest.  We all have this ride to enjoy and make the best of the ups and downs, give yourself a break and let yourself cry. 

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