Tonite I did something that Connor would have normally done. I took Jordan shopping for school supplies. We went to Hadley so she could get what she needed at Staples. Next stop was Hannoush Jewelers to exchange Jordan’s Alex and Ani’s ring that was missing a blue crystal, and our final stop was Sephora. Now that place is a girly girl’s paradise. Makeup and perfume and hair what nots as far as the eye can see. I left with some new perfume …Good Girl by Carolina Herrera. It smells sexy and divine.

Even the packaging is sexy, who can resist a perfume bottles to look like a stiletto pump??

The whole time we were wandering the mall, I kept thinking, Connor should be doing this, he should be helping her pick out school supplies. Knowing exactly how many binders and notebooks and packets of loose leaf paper she needs. He should be telling her that she looks perfect without makeup, and she doesn’t need waterproof mascara, that there is nothing worth crying about. But unfortunately he isn’t here, he isn’t here to entertain her with his silly antics, to spoil her with all the love he has to give her.

Instead I am a poor substitute for the young man that she loves so dearly. The young man that hung the moon in her eyes, my Connor, her Connor. The sweet, gentle, crazy guy who won her heart, and had plans to keep it for the rest of their lives.