Clueless

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My hubby and I generally like each others company, which for people who have been married almost 19 years, and together 22,  that is a pretty big accomplishment. Those numbers became real when I took my engagement ring and wedding band to have them re-sized yesterday. I have lost 70lbs in just over 18 months and my rings won’t stay on. The jeweler needs to shrink them 2 sizes, woo hoo!!!  He also needs to put new prongs in my engagement ring because the diamond is “wobbly”. When he asked how old my ring was and I said 21 years he said yup, they get “wobbly” about then. I also need the bottom of the band rebuilt, because it is getting pretty thin. But we chose not to do that until I am at my goal weight, he says it isn’t crucial now, just normal wear n tear.
     The word that I fixated on was “wobble”, because that is how I am feeling right now. The business that my hubby has worked for since he was 15 was bought in July.  He kept his job, that was not an issue, but since July his life has revolved around his job. Our normal family vacation didn’t happen because he wouldn’t take time off. I had a breast lump removed, all by myself because he wouldn’t take time off. He is working 70-80 hrs a week. On salary for the same salary he got working 45 hrs.
     I finally got him to go to Phoenix (we have friends there)  for 4 days in November by threatening that if he didn’t go with me, I would get on a plane and fly across the country by myself.
     In previous years we have done our Christmas Shopping spending every Friday in December together. Nope not this year, we crammed it into the weekends. Even tho he promised me that we would do them on Fridays. When I asked his retort was “you made me take 4 days off in November, that is the only time I am taking”. 
     He had rotator cuff surgery in November, he had to have it done. He was about 3 months from a full shoulder replacement. The surgery went fine, but he couldn’t wait to get back to work.
     I truly do love his new boss,.and his wife is a gem. She and I spend a lot of time together when our husbands are working. I know that his boss appreciates him, but also does not expect my husband to be there the crazy hours that he is.
     Now comes to the most recent blow. My birthday is next week, next Friday to be exact. I know better than to think that he would actually take the day off to spend with me. I did however expect that we would spend Saturday together. It is bad enough that my birthday falls on Super Bowl Weekend..again. When I said to him, how about we go to New Hampshire on Saturday for my Birthday. Just spend the day together, have lunch. Get a nice dinner. He says “my showroom needs to be re organized n my oil rack needs to be re built and moved, that is what John (his boss)  and I were gonna do Saturday. You could help.”  I said “No it is my birthday I want you to spend the day with me”   He had this clueless look on his face, he says it is just a day, what does it matter? 
     So now wobbly is a good explanation for how I feel, there are no prongs holding me up either. My support is gone, and what I thought was right, real and normal seams to be turned on its head.

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