Yesterday I had been married 19 years. I remembered the day with all of its fanfare. The church, the reception, the pictures, my family, the bridal party. The last minute glitches, the missing bridesmaid bouquet and the fact it was raining the day of, and my parents driveway was a muddy mess. But most of all I reflected on the things I have learned about and while being married. It isn’t about getting married, it is about staying married. As I was getting ready to walk down the aisle and was a bundle of nerves my dad said to me, “we got this, it’s a lead pipe cinch.” At the time I had no idea what he meant, 19 years later (and after wanting to smack hubby with that lead pipe a time or 2). I know he meant, it will be fine, you are ready. He and my mom will be married 49 years in July. I had great role models.
2. Communication is vital
3. Sometimes you just need to leave each other alone, or in the words of the Whalens..don’t poke the nasty beast with a stick.
4. Married couples do not have to do everything together
5. You really do need your own money.
6. Sex is the icing on the cake, and who just wants a muffin
7. Sometimes you have to to something drastic to jolt your spouse out of their “zone”.
8. Being comfortable isn’t always the best way.
9. Life can be full of adventures. If your spouse wont embrace them, do them alone. P.S. I bet they will embrace them after they see you having fun.
10. Don’t let your kids rule your life. Once they are gone, what the hell will you do or talk about?
11. If you think your house should look like Martha Stewart lives there-hire her.
12. Compromise, because if not 1 of you will always be unhappy.
13. Don’t be a slave to your imposed schedule, spontaneity is fun.
14. Hear each other as well as listening.
15. If something is bothering you, talk about it. Bottling it up, just causes an explosion later.
16. Don’t try and “one up” each other.
17. Keeping score is for sports not marriage.
18. Flowers for no reason are the best.
19. Remember why you fell in love and celebrate that.